“Tanquod Shuddery’s bloated frame hove into view from behind the barn.”

This is the opening line of Dennis Beerpint’s latest piece of poetical whimsy. Indeed, it is the only line, for the twee versifier has had a fit of the vapours and put down his pencil. He is pallid, and shaking, and staring wild-eyed into the grate where a few sticks are burning weakly. He wonders if his talent has been dissipated by his newfound devotion to buzzing around in a light aircraft, swooping low over clumps of cows in fields and calling to them in a language they do not understand. Will Dennis get a grip? Can he salvage his poetic gift? Or will he dash out his brains on a paving slab? Don’t miss the exciting new 26-part television drama series Twee Poet In A Light Aircraft Swooping Upon Cows.